Monday, September 14, 2009

The Life I Live and Love

Let's start this out right. I love my life.

I love the things I do. I love the commitments I make. I love the people I know. I love the places I go, the adventures I embark on.

But I've felt a sort of discontent in recent times. I'm trying to evaluate what is really important and what things in my life no longer hold the meaning that they once did. I've been considering the way I present myself - the clothes I wear, the way I speak, how I take care of my belongings - and what this means about me. I think about all the things that I dedicate my time to and what benefits I gain from them, the things I lose as a result of the time and effort I put into these things. I've been thinking about the way people view me - their initial reactions to making my acquaintance.

I feel like I need a truly fresh start. I'm considering just getting rid of a lot of things I've never been able to, even when I have purged my life in the past. Do I really need so many books on hand? Do I need so many DVDs? Why do I keep so much of this nonsense simply because I historically have an emotional connection to it, but no practical need of?

What if I went through my wardrobe and told myself I was only allowed to keep a dozen shirts, two pairs of pants, and a couple of my skirts? Then I could donate the rest to people or places who need them (maybe get some of my Wrock shirts signed by a bunch of bands at Wrockstock and auction off for the HPA after turning them into a bag or something?). I could spend a day in thrift stores restocking just enough to give me a working wardrobe.

What if, for the first time in my life, I got rid of all the fluff in my life?

I think I'd like it. I need a change. I am at a time in my life where I just want to let myself evolve naturally, but I'm being held in one place by things from my past that no longer hold meaning beyond the memories they evoke. And I don't need physical reminders of memories for them to still be real and give me pleasure.

What I need now is someone to hold me to this. Someone who will be in the room with me and ask me why I should keep something and to discern the bullshit from reality. Ideally, I would be my own taskmaster, but if I could have help, that may be the best way to get started on a cleansing venture such as this.


  1. It's an interesting idea, probably something I'm going to have to do when I move. I have two boxes of stuff that I didn't really use the last time I moved, so obviously it's stuff I don't really need, but I MIGHT, so I keep it. It'll have to go eventually, I guess.

  2. I really liked this post. I had a similar realization like that and my answer was to try my own hand at 'Don't Buy New Stuff.' I really do appreciate some stuff though, and most of my memories are tied to the tangible. So I've come to terms with that and that sort of 'stuff' doesn't unsettle me anymore.

    Battling the discontent is such a tricky thing. So often it just exists and the reasons are devilishly hard to pin down... at least for me, anyway. If you ever need a voice of accountability, just let me know. :)