Monday, October 18, 2010

A Recurring Theme

I know I've done this before, but I always seem to come back to it. I think it has something to do with the fact that things never seem to get resolved. Or maybe I just can't seem to exhibit enough patience to allow for a real resolution to come about.

Most likely, there is just no such thing as a "resolution" to the way my life works. You see, I can't help but be preoccupied with the status of my love life, if you will. This is not to say that I feel the need to jump into anything. I just feel like it would be nice to get back on the horse and have some kind of legitimate... something. I'm not entirely certain. I'm not ready for anything serious, but I'm getting tired of being so lonely and, when I'm not totally lonely, I feel like my options are, to say the least, limited. Not always in a good way. In fact, usually not.

I went so far as to spend months thinking to myself that, while my options seemed many and varied, my actual possibilities were few and far between. Overall, a pretty cynical outlook. I like to think I've gotten a bit more optimistic (though I admit, it hasn't been much of an improvement).

All things considered, I'm sure there's a very good reason I put "Go out on a date" on my 101in365 list. And when I put that on my list, I decided it would have to be a real, honest to god date. The kind I haven't had in a very long time. The kind that is acknowledged as such before it happens. The kind that I'm not tricked into, for all intents and purposes.

I guess what it all comes down to for me is that I need to keep up my patience, remain open and honest, and be willing to pursue possibilities that I feel may have merit. Now I just have to follow my own advice.

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