Who Knew Anger Could Affect Me This Way?

I don't even know how, but I've been crazy busy. I mean, I've been dealing with a lot of stressful personal situations lately, so I guess it just makes sense that when I actually have time to myself, all I want to do is lay down and be exhausted.

Add to it the fact that my back basically went out last week. When David gave me a short massage he said it felt like I had three spines with how tense the muscles were on either side. That should not be the case. And since that was worked out, I've had crazy tension in my shoulders that was so bad the other day, it actually woke me up before my alarm even went off. Again - that should not be the case. The worst part is that I think I've managed to peg what is causing this physical tension: emotional stress.

Getting Started

Yesterday after work, I went over to Bria's and we worked with a Yoga DVD she got a while back. It was her first time using the DVD, so neither of us knew just what to expect from it. As it turns out, it was generally a decent routine, but they had these weird "anti-transitions" where they just finished describing a pose and you were supposed to hold it, but then the video would straight cut to them in a completely different pose and it was awkward and you weren't quite sure if you were supposed to continue holding the original pose or move yourself into the position they were now shown in. Besides that weirdness, it was pretty good, though.

I also found my old Yoga journal from when I took Yoga at university.

A Little Discussion of my Goals

I let things get in my head way too much. Little things that don't necessarily mean anything will drive me crazy and morph into wild situations where people despise me and all they want is to be rid of me. Sometimes I find there's an inkling of truth to my insanity, but that it isn't accurate in that crazy way I let it get in my mind. That place where I'm 10 years old again and running home crying because I literally have no friends.

Like I said. I let things get in my head too much.

Just yesterday, I got a fortune cookie that told me, "You will make a change for the better." I think that this 21.5.800 project could be the key to that. I want to use it as time to be introspective, to really assess myself, and to work toward improving myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So I think that this time, for once, my fortune cookie will prove true.

21.5.800: A New Project!

Today, I am embarking on a new project. I know exactly what you're thinking right now: "But Dinah! You NEVER start new projects! I mean, seriously! You're like the laziest person I know in the world!" Come on guys! Where's the encouragement? ;)

In all seriousness, this is going to be another fun project. I mentioned it briefly on Facebook about a week or two ago. It is called 21.5.800. It lasts just 21 days, but it should be an intense and fun 21 days. What it all comes down to is this: I will be writing a minimum of 800 words per day (similar to the idea of NaNoWriMo, but it can be any kind of writing, even blogging!) and I will be doing Yoga at least 5 days of the week each of the 3 weeks in the project.

You can read more detail about this project here, at the original post from the person who organized it.

As for me personally, I am going to be doing this project with my friend Bria, the Dizzy Pixie. She is actually the one who first told me about it and I have to say... I'm pretty darn excited to do it! After work today, we're going to head to her place and do our Yoga together. While it will definitely be too expensive to go to a local Yoga place 5 days a week for 3 weeks, we plan on hitting that up every now and then in the coming weeks. For now, we are sticking with a Yoga DVD that Bria has and I plan on using my Wii Fit for some Yoga (hopefully in the mornings before work if I can wake myself up in time!). Heck, I think I'll even break out my old Yoga journal to see about some of the morning rituals that I haven't done in years.

Reality Check!

The way I see it, I am rooted in reality. I didn't used to be. I used to live in a world where I was on the path I was expected to be on and it was good. Where I had the time and determination to think about everything I did in terms of what it meant to me and others, but almost in a pretentious way. I have been thinking about my life and my goals recently and have determined that there are two ways for me to view my life as it is now.

Side One:

Raaaaaaaaage!!!!!

I can't say the specifics here... or anywhere public, for that matter.... but all I can say is that people I thought were friends seriously disappointed me. The worst part is that they couldn't even tell me themselves. In fact, they don't even know that I'm aware of what happened. It was someone else who, upon discovering the situation, thought I should know about it as well. And this friend was right. It sucks a lot, but I'm glad to know the truth.

But I'm still pissed off and hurt to my core. Not sure who I can talk to about it, though. Stupid people.

Can you say Busy!?

Bwahahaha! Just realized I haven't updated for a while now. And that the last thing I wrote about was how frustrated I was that people assume I'm slutty. If only they knew what my actual love life was like. Non-existant. Hahaha. Fools!

In any case, I did just update my youtube for the first time in even longer than this blog, as well. I guess I'm in sharing mode. Awesome!

So, I think my favorite part about writing the Daily Wrocket is the fact that even I am learning about new bands! Sure, most of it still consists of bands I've at least heard of prior to choosing to write about them, but there have been a couple where I knew nothing about the band but their name and the fact that they had at least one song of at least a minute in length. I don't always know what to say about a band, but that's part of what makes this all so interesting. I just get going until I hit on something I want to expand on. It's been a blast, to say the least. And now I'm starting to get more guest writers! People are eager to write editorials and album reviews. It's been amazing. Seriously!